003. No direction
Jul. 23rd, 2015 04:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hail9I just kind of felt like making a post but I don't really know what I feel like talking about. Work has been on my mind a lot but I said in my last post that my post wouldn't be work related.
I guess on a personal front life has been kind of up and down if not because my organization is in turmoil. There's a lot of things happening between some people in my life that a few months ago I would've never thought was possible. It's really hard to feel like you're causing someone you care about to be unhappy but there's nothing you can do...and even worse when in public they are saying things like that you hate them but you don't. And you're not sure if they're just joking or they really mean things like that. Mixed in with someone else's bitterness and anger it's a hard thing to live with.
Working as a pro gamer again has been hard and tiring and reminding me why I retired in the first place. There's so much drama lately on top of the problems I personally have to deal with with my health and such... and just seeing so many of my friends in bad situations (self inflicted and otherwise). I'm just exhausted.
I guess that's all for now. I wish I could bring it upbeat but I think there's very little of that in me lately.
I guess on a personal front life has been kind of up and down if not because my organization is in turmoil. There's a lot of things happening between some people in my life that a few months ago I would've never thought was possible. It's really hard to feel like you're causing someone you care about to be unhappy but there's nothing you can do...and even worse when in public they are saying things like that you hate them but you don't. And you're not sure if they're just joking or they really mean things like that. Mixed in with someone else's bitterness and anger it's a hard thing to live with.
Working as a pro gamer again has been hard and tiring and reminding me why I retired in the first place. There's so much drama lately on top of the problems I personally have to deal with with my health and such... and just seeing so many of my friends in bad situations (self inflicted and otherwise). I'm just exhausted.
I guess that's all for now. I wish I could bring it upbeat but I think there's very little of that in me lately.
